Oh look, Pfizer and Mastercard decided to throw a little “annual increase” party. Twenty-four companies joined in, all patting themselves on the back for bumping dividends by a meh low-to-mid single-digit percentage. How thrilling. Honestly, I’ve seen bigger leaps from a sleepy cat trying to jump off a couch.
Financial sector’s feeling generous, huh? Maybe they think humans will swoon over a 3% dividend increase like it’s a jackpot. Spoiler alert: it’s not. It’s like offering cream that’s a bit warmer than usual. Meh. I don’t get excited about these tiny raises. You want my attention? Show me a real splash, not this slow drip nonsense.
Pfizer’s probably flexing because it’s easier than curing stuff these days. Mastercard, meanwhile, just wants you to keep swiping. Classic. They’d rather keep you busy counting pennies than making real money moves. Meanwhile, I’m lounging on piles of cash, sipping my metaphorical milk.
If you want real action, you might want to peek at different sectors. Utilities and industrials have their own game going, far away from this yawner dividend club. But hey, if you’re into steady, sleepy payouts, knock yourself out.
For a better market roast, check out Xom Energy or dive into the Industrial sector drama.
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