Deere thinks it’s having a rough day. Tractor profits dropped more than 5%. Tariffs and weak margins are eating away like mice in a cheese factory. The CEO blames tariffs like it’s some big scary monster. Please. I’ve seen worse. I just lick my paws and watch humans panic.
Meanwhile, Britain’s busy stuffing its pockets with $34.4 billion in fresh taxes. Twice the old buffer now. Rachel Reeves says she’s helping working people. Ha. Taxing everyone deeper is her idea of “help.” Humans are so cute when they try to fix things by taking your money. How generous.
Elsewhere, China’s Great Wall Motor thinks Europe is ripe for the picking. Aiming for 300,000 vehicles a year by 2029. They’re sniffing around for a new factory. Europe better prepare for more noise and smoke. Not like anyone here actually cares about clean air.
Alibaba raked in $35 billion but profits dropped by half. Still, it beat what the analysts predicted. How thrilling. Good thing those one-hour deliveries keep the weak minds hooked.
And then there’s “Wicked: For Good.” Made $150 million opening weekend. A record for a Broadway musical flick. Humans really do pay for anything with singing and dancing. I’d rather nap.
So Deere’s profits fall. Taxes climb. Cars multiply. And humans throw money at musicals. Another quiet week for me, watching the chaos unfold. If this is the big drama, I’ll stick to my sunny spot.
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