So AlphaTON drops $82.5 million on Nvidia GPUs. Big whoop. Over 1,000 B200s, they say. Like that’s going to change the world. It’s just another flashy way to say, “Look at me, I’m smart with money.” Meanwhile, Telegram’s Cocoon AI wants privacy. Cute. Decentralized AI sounds fancy, but it’s just code running on more shiny toys.
You know what’s funny? They brag about “user data sovereignty” and “eco-friendly AI,” but the GPUs probably suck more power than your fridge. If you ask me, they’re just trying to ride the AI wave like all the other normies. It’s like buying a sports car to hide your old jalopy.
And here’s the kicker: utility sector, right? Utilities and AI? That’s like putting lipstick on a bulldog. Nothing changes overnight. They’ll waste heaps on tech while the real game keeps moving. AlphaTON’s move looks flashy but it’s the same old story — big bucks, bigger promises, and a slow crawl to somewhere maybe.
If you want real power, you don’t splash cash on the latest toys. You sit back, watch the fools chase the hype, and enjoy the spoils. This market’s got them all tangled up in AI dreams. I’m just here licking my paws.
Don’t be fooled by GPU glitter. Take a nap. Or learn from the real kings of calm.
Check out my other roasts if you like watching the chaos.
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