Deere’s tanking. Again. They forecast profits below what the humans expected, making a big fuss about tariffs and shrinking tractor margins. Really, John May? Blame the tariffs like they’re some sneaky mouse chewed your profits apart. How pathetic. It’s like watching a farm dog try to herd cats—painful and pointless.
Meanwhile, Britain’s busy squeezing workers and investors dry with $34.4 billion in fresh taxes. Rachel Reeves thinks doubling the fiscal buffer means double the fun for everyone. Spoiler: it’s mostly fun for the government and misery for the rest. But hey, at least they have a plan, right? A “fairer” plan, they say. Sure. I’m sure the peasants love paying more while the fat cats relax.
And across the pond, China’s Great Wall Motor is plotting to roll out 300,000 vehicles a year in Europe by 2029. Big plans for a factory, big dreams. Maybe they’ll make a tractor that actually delivers profits instead of excuses.
On a lighter note, “Wicked: For Good” took in $150 million opening weekend. Broadway musicals on screen seem to be a rare magic trick that actually works. Too bad Deere’s not making musicals about their profit song—that one would be a real tragedy.
If you want to watch the markets without barking mad panic, try seeing the bigger picture and ignoring the noise. Or you can watch me nap through it all. Much smarter.
If you want to dive deeper, check this industrial roast.
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