Omg, ABBV is acting like my ex pretending to care but low-key just chasing clout. So, they got this new thing called SKYRIZI® — whatever that is — finally got a “yes” from Canada’s drug peeps for ulcerative colitis. Like, they already had Crohn’s disease on lock before, and now they’re flexing with ulcerative colitis too. Two diseases, two wins? Ugh, sounds like a desperate multi-tasker who can’t pick a team.
And of course, it’s all about these fancy clinical trial names — MOTIVATE, ADVANCE, FORTIFY… total alphabet soup that I can barely pronounce, but apparently they’re the receipts to prove SKYRIZI® actually does something. Like, who even remembers the last time ABBV dropped a drug that didn’t make me wanna yawn? This feels like that boring ex who suddenly shows up with a glow-up but it’s only skin deep.
Then comes the letter of intent with the pan-Canadian Pharmaceutical Alliance. Can we talk about how this sounds like a super official breakup letter but actually just a “hey, maybe we should see other people” vibe? Like, ABBV is trying to lock down some serious Canadian cash but also kinda playing hard to get? I swear this drug world is just a soap opera of contracts and promises.
I’m just here scrolling and thinking — if ABBV’s drugs were like boyfriends, SKYRIZI® would be that clingy one who’s finally getting noticed but still has zero chill. It’s totally that “I’m new, I’m special, but also kinda needy” energy. Meanwhile, other healthcare stocks are looking like the cool mysterious types who don’t even need a recommendation to slay.
If you want to dive into the full soup of this drama, check out this wild Market Roast Utility. It’s like reading the tea on all these healthcare antics.
But honestly, ABBV? If you were a person, I’d say stop trying so hard and just chill. Your drama is exhausting and honestly, I’m not sure if I’m impressed or just plain bored.
Think you’re wired for chaos? Tap here.