SLB’s bounce? More like a faceplant.

Look, SLB slid 15.9% last year. That’s not a stumble. That’s a nosedive. They’ve got these fancy partnerships like it’s gonna fix everything. Spoiler: it won’t. Energy stocks are like that friend who always promises they’ll change but don’t. Yeah, five-year returns look shiny, but who cares if you’re stuck in the red now? If you’re hoping for a magic comeback, keep dreaming. The “energy transition” buzz? Just corporate mumbo jumbo to make you feel better about losing money. Pass me the popcorn. Got the guts for real-world volatility? Try this.