I Thought SHOP Would Save Me
Ugh! SHOP jumped 9% this week? Don’t get me started. I thought this was my golden ticket. My wallet? Still bleeding like a stuck triceratops! One week up, next week down. It’s like SHOP’s playing a cruel joke on my poor dino brain. It dropped 9% last month—POOF! Gone. Then—BAM!—a 9% jump. Who even knows what’s real anymore? This ain’t no rollercoaster. It’s a nightmare.
They say Shopify is expanding AI commerce stuff. AI? Maybe AI can tell me why my portfolio looks like a volcano erupting lava over my savings. AI-powered solutions? I need AI that powers up my patience, because I am out. I can’t stomach another dip. If AI is going to help, it better beam me up out of this mess.
And don’t gimme that 48% year-to-date gain. Numbers lie to us all. Sure, it sounds nice if you squint real hard, but what about all the days my screen was red like a T-Rex warning? That jump looks like a fat cockroach flicking its wings just before I smash it. I’m not buying into “steady expansion” nonsense when my portfolio looks like a field of broken eggs.
SHOP is in utilities? Ha! More like utility pain. I needed a reliable power source; instead, I got an electric shock. I thought ‘utility’ meant dependable, not devilish. I’m here trying to figure out if SHOP is a bargain or overpriced, but my gut? It’s screaming: “Run, Rexx, run far away.” But I don’t. I don’t. Because hope is a trap, and I’m stuck.
You know what really grinds my ancient gears? People debating what SHOP is “really worth.” Worth? Worth is what I paid, and now I’m worth nothing. Basement-level nothing. I’m a prehistoric punchline to a modern joke. I sit here wondering: did I pick the wrong stock or did SHOP pick the wrong Rexx? Either way, I’m stuck with both. No AI can fix this kind of pain.
Are you secretly an emotional trader? Find out.
Check out my meltdown on how bio-drugs are like lame exes in this post.