Headline: I’m supposed to care about Exxon now
Look, ExxonMobil just got a French makeover. North Atlantic France SAS bought up most of Exxon’s French gigs—Esso Société Anonyme Française SA and ExxonMobil Chemical France SAS. Great, right? Except no one in the world really cares. The same old oil giant just changed business cards in some boardroom far away, and now we’re supposed to pretend it actually means something.
Oil companies merging, acquiring, whatever—they do this dance every week. It’s like watching paint dry on a wall that’s about to get repainted again anyway. ExxonMobil’s French side gets scooped up by a local firm. Big deal. Meanwhile, the planet keeps heating, and Exxon keeps selling the black goo that’s frying the Arctic. But hey, corporate synergy or whatever.
This news reads like a bad soap opera nobody asked for. Esso Société Anonyme Française SA isn’t suddenly reinventing itself. It still sells gas to people too tired to bike. ExxonMobil Chemical France SAS still makes chemicals nobody likes to think about. It’s all just corporate musical chairs, with shareholders trying not to cry over their losses.
And while Europe’s shifting energy scene glances sideways at oil for survival, these guys are just handing the baton to a French company. Maybe it’s smarter than I think. Maybe North Atlantic France SAS will bring some fresh ideas. Or maybe it’ll just bleed money like every energy company trying not to drown in green energy hype.
For anyone hoping this acquisition signals some big green pivot? Relax. It’s probably just a reshuffle to keep the cash flowing while pretending they care about the future. Spoiler: they don’t. They want profits now. Same as always.
If you want to watch energy companies stumble around trying not to faceplant, see the energy bounce for a good laugh. Or check out some high growth tech stocks if you hate oil news as much as I do.
Got the guts for real-world volatility? Try this.