So EOG Resources strutted in with their fancy Q3 report. They say they nailed volumes above the midpoint. Like that’s supposed to impress me. I’ve seen mice with better timing.
Capital costs came in below their own midpoints. That’s like bragging about showing up on time to a party for once.
$1.4 billion in free cash flow. Sweet. Enough to buy me a dozen gourmet catnip toys or maybe a small island. And they handed out $1 billion back to shareholders. I bet the humans clapped like they just invented the wheel.
The charming part? They’re promising to give back nearly 90% of their 2025 cash flow. Almost like they’re worried shareholders might get bored holding all that money. Spoiler: I never get bored with more cash.
Here’s some insider fluff—they’re calling this transaction the “third high-return foundational asset.” High return, sure, but foundational? Sounds like the cement block keeping their Big Oil castle from tipping over.
Honestly, I find the whole fanfare a bit exhausting. Humans scramble around their spreadsheets like it’s rocket science. Meanwhile, I just nap. Maybe I should start handing out dividends in hairballs.
Messy truth? I could manage their portfolio better with my paws tied behind my back. Speaking of drama, if you want a taste of calm amid all this chaos, dip your paw into this wild move. It’s got less fluff and more bite.
Trading should be less yelling, more chilling. That’s my kind of game.
Want to trade calm like me? Take the quiz → /trading-quiz