Headline: I Can’t Care About Another Oil Buyout
Look, ExxonMobil just got snatched up by North Atlantic France SAS. Big deal. It’s not like anyone’s surprised when giant oil companies decide to swap pieces of the same greasy puzzle. Here’s another headline about some controlling stake or whatever. I don’t care which corporate clown is holding the steering wheel, the tanker just keeps spilling oil—and cash into who knows what pockets.
North Atlantic France now owns 82.89% of ExxonMobil’s French play. That means they basically bought the whole French Exxon cake and the greasy chemical icing on top. “Successful completion of the acquisition…” sounds like a celebration, but it’s just a fancy way of saying “Here’s another way to confuse investors with corporate jargon.” I’m still waiting for them to invent an energy source that doesn’t feel like it’s cooking the planet. Spoiler: They aren’t close.
And no, this isn’t some sexy innovation brag post. It’s the same old shell game. Giant energy company X owns y, y owns z, z owns the pollution quota nobody wants to talk about. They probably have a meeting next week to talk about “synergies” and “optimizing value.” Translation: squeeze more money out of people while pretending this is all good for the planet.
I swear, these deals get as boring as watching paint dry—except the paint is toxic sludge leaking from some offshore rig. At least paint drying doesn’t fund political lobbyists to keep the oil flowing. And it’s that kind of energy sector drama that makes me want to take a nap… or just go back to binge-watching shows where the worst thing happening is a character running out of snacks.
If you want to dive deeper into who’s playing puppet with this oil circus, give this logistics market report a look. It’s riveting if you’re into tracking how this stuff moves from the well to your regretful gas tank.
So yeah, Exxon sells France the same old stuff in a new package. Congrats, I guess. Yawn. I don’t know who’s winning here, but the planet sure as hell isn’t.
Got the guts for real-world volatility? Try this.